The Unintended Journey 11 – Around the World in 80 Days (Part 10)
21st February, Day 2 (15 Mins to Afternoon)
Steady Eddie passed Jenny and Justin a piece of pizza with a cup of coke each and they started eating.
They were looking out the window and they could see the Eiffel tower and Disneyland Paris.
‘I want to go to Disneyland.’ Said Steady Eddie.
‘We will go to Disneyland in Florida and we will also be going to Universal Studios in Hollywood.’ Said Steady Eddie.
‘Yay.’ Said Jenny and Justin
It was now 12:00. When they finished their meal they continued on their journey.
‘Why don’t we watch a film?’ Said Jenny.
‘That’s an excellent idea.’ Said Justin. ‘What shall we watch?’
‘The Last Mimzy.’ Said Justin.
Jenny got the DVD player out and placed the DVD into the drive and started it.
(To be continued in The Unintended Journey 12 – They arrive in Rue Montesquieu, 33000 Bordeaux, France, and decide what to do next.)
The Unintended Journey 12 – Around the World in 80 Days (Part 11)21st February, Day 2 (Afternoon)
Justin placed the sat nav in driverless mode so he could enjoy the film with the others. Jenny took out the DVD player and Steady Eddie placed the DVD in the drive. They started watching.
About 20 minutes in they suddenly stopped unexpectedly.
‘What happened,’ said Jenny and Steady Eddie at the same time.
‘I don’t know. But if we don’t fix it soon we won’t arrive it Bordeaux on time,’ said Justin.
Justin attempted to start the car but it failed.
‘If only my friend Silly Billy was here. He’d have us out of here in a jiffy,’ Steady Eddie said.
Just then another driver drove past them. I’ll give you three guesses to who it might be.
(Kids stop reading and hand this book to your parents.)
(Note to parents. Give them three guesses)
It was Silly Billy.
Silly Billy got out of his car and went up to them.
‘What are you doing here,’ they all said.
‘I installed a tracker to the rear of your car when you were in London so if you stalled I could give you a hand,’ said Silly Billy.
Silly Billy received the jumper cables and attached one side to his engine and the other to the other engine and jump started the car.
‘There you go,’ Silly Billy said as he continued his route around the world.
All of a sudden the car burst open and formed a Hot Air Balloon type vehicle and went up in the air.
They could see Bordeaux ahead. They could even see where they would be staying. They gradually descended and landed in Bordeaux.
(To be continued in The Unintended Journey 13 - Around the World in Eighty Days (Part 12))
The Unsinkable Ship (Based on a true story)I was on a voyage from Cadiz (in Spain) to La Coruna (also in Spain). Five minutes on we noticed we were being followed. They were bad pirates as they began to attack us. We brought out our weapons and we started to attack them back.
But it was too late and the pirates made a hole in our ship. We started to sink. When we got to the bottom we could see dolphins and whales. Then unexpectedly we rose from the bottom, we couldn’t believe what was happening! When we finished fainting another remarkable thing happened we sank again.
‘Hey I thought this ship was unsinkable!’
The crew couldn’t believe what was happening. We gazed at the lovely watery view. Then suddenly out of nowhere we rose to the surface. When we got to the surface we checked where we were on the map and it said we were on La Coruna. But that couldn’t be.
Then suddenly the ship started to transform into an island called (you guessed it) La Coruna.
The crew decided to look around. It was a forest with trees and a river down the middle. We looked towards the sun but then something distracted us.
We looked back across the forest and we could see somebody who said, ‘Look beyond what you see….’
So we did and you won’t believe what we saw. We saw our boat bobbing along in the distance.
The Wrong FamilyIt was the 9th of March of the year 2004. The family was at home one morning in Scotland, when they saw in the paper that there was a film festival in Leicester Square.
So they took a black cab to London’s Leicester Square. When they got there they couldn’t see anybody.
So the father of the family said, ‘Can you check the date of that newspaper?’
The boy glanced at the date of the paper.
It said 10th June 2020.
The family started walking towards the airport.
Father said: ‘Shall we take a plane back to Scotland?’
So they took a plane back to Scotland.
But they took the wrong plane and were heading to France.
When they got there he didn’t know France’s driving codes.
They were stopped by the cops no times.
They went back to the airport and took a plane home.
Three QuotesOne November morning there was a gust of wind coming through the Pillards living room when suddenly the window and the surrounding wall caved in.
Gillard Pillard and his wife Jillard Pillard were upstairs asleep when suddenly their alarm clock woke them up. They headed downstairs to what they thought would be a leisurely breakfast. They entered the living room with shock.
They saw a complete tip. It was like something exploded.
‘I’ll call some builders to come and give some quotes to fix this massacre,’ said Gillard angrily.
‘That’s good,’ said Jillard.
A builder raced over narrowly missing a parked Mercedes Benz, but then the van tipped over and destroyed the car. The builder managed to get out of the car and inspect the problem.
Meanwhile outside a fire has erupted with the builder not realising.
(Kids if you ever see a fire call 999 in the UK or 911 in the US.)
The builder inspected the damage and said:
‘My quote to fix this eye saw is £2,000.’
Another builder came by and inspected the damage and said:
‘My quote to fix this monstrosity will be £10,000.’
‘That sounds reasonably,’ said Gillard.
The final builder popped by to inspect damage.
‘My quote to fix this disaster is £5,000,000.’
Gillard went upstairs to see his wife.
‘I got three quotes. One wants 2000 another wants 10,000 and the other wants 5,000,000,’ he said.
‘£5,000,000,’ Jillard said.
She then fainted on the bed.
‘Honey, are you ok,’ Gillard said.
Gillard didn’t realise why Jillard fainted. When he relised he fainted as well.
(To be continued in Building Work Goes From Bad to Worse)
(Based on an experience in a comedy club I had)
‘There are different ways of using the word up and here they are:’
You wake UP in the morning and get out of bed
Your wife/girlfriend gets UP too and goes in the shower
Then you go in the shower after and then get dressed UP
While you get dressed your girlfriend/ wife puts on her make UP
Then you go on the Internet and all of these pop UPs appear
Then you top UP your mobile, go to the supermarket
You pick UP your items and queue UP at the checkout
When you get home you decide to warm UP
So you decide to do some pull UPS and also some push UPS
After that the phone rings non-stop and you get tied UP
Then you go UPstairs to bed and dream UP some great ideas
(You don’t want to mess UP!)